Dear Crone,

Sooo I actually officially applied to grad school last week, after months of going back and forth.

I never imagined myself actually furthering my education by going to grad school.

I’ve just been so done with all assignments and other schoolwork. But applying to grad school makes me super excited for some weird reason.

I’m excited to see what door grad school will open for me.

Am I crazy?

Or am I finally figuring out what I want in life?

(The added bonus is that I’ll be 7 hrs away from my family)

Future Grad School Girlie

Dear FGSG,

It could be both! One must be insane to further one's education, and one can do so while figuring out what one wants in life.

I feel it necessary to remind people that attending grad school was the reason my vessel moved to Canada, met some of his closest friends, and dedicated himself to our content!

Get your applications in, and see where it takes you!

Oh, and apply for scholarships, grants, and anything else that will make it cheaper, if applicable.

It’s a grand decision, and one that you should feel excited for.

We’re eager to get an update!

Love,

The Crone

Dear Omnipotent and Esteemed Crone,

I need help. (In high school fyi) I have this friend who confessed in this dramatic long text that he loved me … and at first, I was open to the idea of dating him.

But the more we texted and hung out, idk I don’t really like him like that anymore.

I still want to be friends, and I’m okay if he acts more distant or reserved I’m not some attention seeking pick-me, I just want to be friends.

How do I friend-zone him without hurting him?

Love,

Crusher

Dear Crusher,

You gotta hurt him.

Not maliciously or intentionally, but because you wish to be honest.

It’s simple, it’s direct, it’s “I don’t see you in this way, but I want to be friends.”

And then you let him handle that however he will.

He will likely withdraw or even end the friendship. That’s better than dating to spare feelings, I assure you.

Be honest, and the rest is up to him.

Gently,

The Crone

Hey Crone & Daniel,

Not much advice needed, but more of a life update.

Guys suck.

I dumped the guy I was talking to.

He couldn't be bothered to take me out on a date but kept expecting me to send him dirty pictures. 🤨🤨

No dude.

I don't think so.

It's been 3 weeks, and now I'm just lonely.

Don't worry, I blocked him!

This year kinda sucks.

By the way, you should listen to Stray Kids, their helping to keep me afloat right now.

You might like them.

And Ateez. 🥵🥵🥵

Sorta Lustless

Dear Sorta Lustless,

Sometimes just sharing an emotion with someone you trust can be enough to get control of it.

Your actions are admirable (and correct!), and your feelings regarding them also make complete sense.

Good on you for having expectations in your dating life, and enforcing those boundaries.

I will make sure my vessel checks out your musical recommendations, and feel free to email us with your favorites.

Talk soon!

Encouragingly,

The Crone

Wisest Crone and appreciated Vessel,

I have a former work colleague whose actions suggest we're more than friends (men in the wild often ask our status), while his words insist we're just friends.

He brings peace, fun, and joy to my life.

When we're together, I feel like I need nothing; when we're apart, he's the first person I want to tell things to.

My AuDHD brain is trying to solve a puzzle he's not inclined to explain.

Any insight?

Gratefully,

BikerMomma

Dear BikerMomma,

He did explain it.

You’re just friends.

I’m happy he seems like a good one, but you’re always exactly what a man says you are to him.

Nothing more complicated than that.

Honestly,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

I’m struggling with social media.

I made a booktok account last year and it was so great until it wasn’t.

I made it my entire personality on accident and everything became work.

I deleted it and now I made another TT for just fun and journaling but I’m afraid to fall back into old habits were everything becomes performative and I start comparing and it affects my mental health.

Any advice on how to be casual on social media and not let make me feel bad about myself for not doing enough?

Anonymous

Dear Anon,

The internet is where nuance, joy, critical thinking, and the general concept of minding one’s business go to die.

Your job in this case will be to not let it get to you, and to recognize when you’re too tired to fight it.

That will mean understanding what you want from your creator experience and what is and isn’t an obstacle.

You want it to be a fun, casual thing. That means you aren’t obligated to post, you only share what you enjoy, and you take time offline when you need it.

And trust me, you’ll need it.

Utilize app limits if necessary, and remember: the internet is fake.

Surround yourself with real life, and the people who make it worth being offline.

And when you feel yourself comparing, take a break. There’s no correct timeline or schedule to make content. It’ll be best when it’s authentically on your terms.

Encouragingly,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

I have a complicated statement.

I’m a complete asshole towards my family, whether they deserve it or not, but I’m completely normal and a near doormat to other people.

I want to fix my life but I don’t know how.

I want to be better, but it’s exhausting when it feels like it’ll get me nowhere

Depressed Daughter

Dear Daughter,

To start, I always recommend speaking to a professional.

You need to self-assess and discover what is driving this behavior, why you feel it benefits you, and what healthily sublimating it will look like.

That being said, you must recognize that growth is neither linear nor quick. Don’t overwhelm yourself with the journey before you; take the first step.

Gently,

The Crone

Crone,

I need guidance.

TLDR bf has taken my car because his is broken won’t return it because his stuff is more important.

My mom thinks I should report him for theft but that will send him to jail and I’m expecting.

I’m stressed and fighting with everyone and I’m so over it.

Anonymous

Dear Anon,

If he took your car, that is, in fact, theft.

If he doesn’t want to go to jail, he should probably not steal your car.

If you have a baby on the way, you will need a car for grocery shopping, appointments, errands, etc.

You need to get it back.

File the report.

Honestly,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

I know how much you and Daniel hate the pregnancy trope.

But I would like to ask, is it acceptable if it is only mentioned in the epilogue of the story as a precursor to the events of the next book?

I can promise it’s not mentioned anywhere else in the series.

I’m working on something and would like you to read it one day without hating it.

Sardonyx

Dear Sardonyx,

It’s acceptable wherever, so long as it’s not used as an excuse to sideline an important character.

So long as we don’t need a timeskip to make the child relevant, don’t lose the parents to completely avoidable situations, and our mom remains interesting, I’ll allow it.

Begrudgingly,

The Crone

Daniel and the Crone,

Not really advice for me but for you.

You mentioned a book by Garth Nix today but not the one that still has my place as favorite book.

Shade's Children.

Read it, thank me later.

Jess

Dear Jess,

It shall be in our next TBR Top-Up.

That’s a promise!

Sincerely,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

My friend somehow ends up dating every guy I get close to.

It started with her dating my oldest guy friend for like 18 months.

They broke up, and she started dating one of my other guy friends.

Rinse and repeat, now she is on her 4th boyfriend, who is a close friend of mine, not to mention he is the ex of a mutual friend who doesn’t know they are together.

Maybe I’m thinking too much into it, but this is a really weird pattern.

I’m not sure if I should bring it up to her or not.

Help?

Somehow the Third Wheel

Dear Third,

Yeah, that’s fucking bizarre.

I will ask: do the end of these relationships negatively impact your dealings with these men?

If not, I guess it’s fine, just odd.

But if you find yourself torn between the two… I’m reminded of that Tumblr post regarding feeding cats to coyotes.

Keep this woman at arm’s length; she sounds absurdly male-centered.

I doubt speaking with her will do much good, but by all means test your theory. Point out the pattern, and should she get defensive and aggressive, you’ll know you were correct.

Stunned,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

Last time I wrote to you I had just been dumped, and I had already been in therapy so I kept it going and I moved forward.

And today, as of writing this, a close friend of mine, who I've known for a few years now, decided to break off our friendship via email.

I'm hurt all over again, and I had finally started to feel like myself too.

What do I do that I'm not already?

LonelyInLove

Dear LonelyInLove,

You sit with the feeling.

It’s shitty, uncomfortable, unpleasant, and the only real way to eventually move past it.

I’m sorry that’s how things went down. Trust me, my vessel is well acquainted with such bullshittery.

Don’t ignore the emotions, but know they’ll fade.

Gently,

The Crone