Dear Crone,

How do I entice my male mate to read Smut/Romantasy with me?

Checka

Dear Checka,

“Hi, honey, read this. Whenever you get to a passage that’s highlighted, you get to do that to me.”

Buckle up.

Love,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

I would like a romantic partner, but while I am pretty good at the committed relationship bit, I am bad at investing in the early casual part.

Any advice for staying motivated through subpar dates?

Old Man Yelling at Clouds

Dear Old Man,

There’s a difference between “getting to know each other” and “early casual.”

You don’t need to do the latter.

If you’re dating someone, make it known what you’re comfortable with.

If a date is subpar, don’t go out with them again. End it early if you have to.

It’s supposed to be fun meeting your person, and if you aren’t having that, move on.

Ask questions, explore hobbies, and have a safe word.

The rest is irrelevant.

Encouragingly,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

I loved a friend, it's over.

No one's fault, it's just life. I love writing.

He keeps turning up there.

No matter what I try to write, this short, pudgy, kind, perverted, emotionally intelligent character sidles in.

I write the story we never had. He bleeds into any creative endeavour.

How do I write something else?

Statically,

Be-Mused

Dear Be-Mused,

Have you tried passing the Bechdel test?

Seriously, write women.

Write a tall, thin, mean, prudish, emotionally stunted character who you just cannot get rid of.

Focus on literally any other aspect of worldbuilding or creation.

Hells, write from the perspective of a plant growing on a newly forged planet.

Bemusedly,

The Crone

Hi Crone & Daniel!

At the end of 23 during hard depression episode I found masked man on TT, somehow his silly vids&thirst traps helped me to keep going.

Long story short, we got talking.

I usually don’t talk to people online.

We became online friends, precious to each other.

In April, he was bullied by TT and left sm completely.

It’s hard to accept that he may never come back and overcome the loss of a friend.

What do I do?

I thought I got it, but sadness and grief and yearning keep coming back

Sad Fox

Dear Sad Fox,

First of all, props for shooting your shot.

Never underestimate the skills of the truly social media-ly insane. There are people who can find Daniel’s home address from a photo of his mother’s living room.

If any of his accounts are still active, I say DM them or check if he has a business email you can reach out to.

Otherwise, I hesitate to suggest you go looking for private accounts. Some people may not want to be found, and you have to respect that.

Given your previous success, why don’t you try messaging another hot thirst trapper?

You’ll carry the sadness for a long time, but it’s important to recognize that it isn’t about you. Social media is just hell. And not even one of the fun ones.

Gently,

The Crone

Dearest Crone,

I need advice regarding my job.

I currently don’t hate but don’t love my job.

I LOVED my former job, but had to leave for my mental health.

I miss my old job so much, but should I just stay with the safer option?

I’d Rather Not Work at All

Dear Rather,

What can you handle financially?

That’s… pretty much the crux of it.

Will going back to your old job just put you at risk of another mental health episode, or are you good to go?

Can you afford the risk if you need to leave again?

Honestly, not hating a job is a far cry beyond many others, but if it’s 50/50, I say go with the one that pays more.

Honestly,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

I have had to give up on a hobby I love very much simply because I was not put into that class, and it is now full.

Any thoughts on how to find something else I will love?

Empty of Hobby

Dear Empty,

Have you tried… anything else?

I will also ask if you can’t just get into that class next semester or year, but now’s the time to explore!

You can pick something adjacent, like Daniel’s journey from shaolin —> gymastics —> pole dancing.

Or say “fuck it” and try underwater basket weaving.

Abruptly,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

I met this guy, and things were going really well.

Hours of phone calls and tons of text messages.

This coming Friday will mark a month since our last phone call, which was 3 hours long.

Nothing since then. I've been able to confirm that he's not dead, but I don't understand what happened.

I know it's him and that I deserve better, so Crone, why does a part of me still want him?

Heartbroken and Confused

Dear H&C,

I understand that you want him to be the first to reach out.

But if he isn’t going to, why don’t you?

More to your question, you’ve already answered it:

You still want him because you’re heartbroken and confused.

I will reiterate something that I frequently find myself saying: sometimes the sudden break is the closure.

It’s done, you go about your day, and eventually you’ll realize you will have moved on.

Gently,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

Not an advice-seeking question, but have you considered a book-suggestion page?

Unsolicited rec bc i love it: Darkness Descends by Alisha Ashton.

Modern fantasy romance.

It's no Sanderson, but it's not a trashyromancenovel either.

Think you'd like it

Sorena

Dear Sorena,

I love a good opportunity to advertise.

You can find our recommended reads over on the Daniel’s Picks page, plus other blogs that you may enjoy!

We’re still updating from our backlog of editions, but it’s the best place to catch whatever it is we’re currently reading!

Love,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

I am feeling left behind because I am 25 and single, my few friends I have are coupled up and moved out, and I recently lost my college friends.

How can I thrive again socially?

Anonymous

Dear Anon,

As tough as it is.

You have to go outside.

Some sort of social setting—a bar, a trivia night, a workout class, a run club—is going to be your best bet to meet people your age with similar interests.

My vessel has also had to start from scratch, and the people you’ll meet will be worth it.

Delicately,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

Do I keep trying to befriend a guy I really like or do I step back?

Long story short: best date of my life.

But he says hes not cut for dating (i believe him it has been confirmed he hardly goes on a date) and yet we still talk and are friends.

I really like him, but I think he was traumatized by an old girlfriend.

What do I do?

Mads

Dear Mads,

To start, we don’t ascribe any intent or history to the guy. We just focus on what he’s saying.

He’s not interested in dating.

So don’t try to date him.

If you can be respectful of that boundary, there’s nothing wrong with trying to be friends. I just ask that you don’t pursue this in the hope of changing his mind.

Honestly,

The Crone

Hi Crone & Daniel!

I actually did leave the discord and the friend group as well.

And honestly the only thing I lost was anxiety and stress.

I've stuck with a different group of friends who actually want me around, which makes a big difference.

And to be honest, I don't miss them.

Thank you for your (and your vessels) advice!

Bass Girl

Dear Bass Girl,

Hells (worldbuilding), yeah!

Pain is almost always secondary to the fear of it.

You made the right choice, and I look forward to you thriving with your new social circle.

Happily,

The Crone