Dear Crone,

I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years about a month ago, and I am wanting to try dating again.

Thing is, I've been out of the dating scene for three years, and I have no idea where to begin, or how to go about recognizing the signs of someone flirting with me.

I feel completely lost.

I feel like a fish out of water.

Where do I start?

Newly Single

Dear NS,

The best way to tell if you’re a participant in a flirting situation is to flirt first.

You don’t need to be an expert; it doesn’t need to be debonair or suave; you just have to come away from it without a restraining order.

Go practice, and you’ll get back in the swing of things.

In terms of recognizing when someone is flirting with you: if you’re wondering, assume yes, flirt back, and see if the response is positive.

Just go do it.

Encouragingly,

The Crone

From one of my favorite TV shows (the first season, anyway), directly to my bookshelf, welcome back to Earth.

You’ve been down for over 250 years, humanity’s knowledge of altered carbon giving rise to the stack and digitized human consciousness.

Death is a dream to the wealthy, and bodies are just another commodity.

When sex, status, and life itself are a matter of currency, what does humanity become?

Across the Settled Worlds, the Meths reign supreme, untouched by time, backed up, and cloned.

Did your Envoy training prepare you for this?

The Azalea Dynasty wanes, but that means little to Wei Yin, sold as a concubine to their household.

With a dying emperor at the head of Azalea House, Wei stands trapped in the midst of a brewing civil war, and so she takes matters into her own hands.

It is forbidden for women to read, but the power behind poetry magic is undeniable, and it may prove to be the one thing that can save her.

Can a ballad truly be all that stands between her and execution?

Proof I don’t read fantasy exclusively, Mrs. Shim faces quite the dilemma: three children, no job, and no husband. Naturally, this makes her rather open-minded about job offers.

So even she is surprised when the Smile Detective Agency hires her to be an assassin, and she quickly becomes one of their best.

Unfortunately, her rise to murder-stardom isn’t all roses and pixie dust; many of her coworkers and competitors would love to claw Mrs. Shim down a peg.

With little else to do but take out the head of a rival agency, Mrs. Shim soon discovers it may have been better if she had just stuck to working in butcher shops.

The irony isn’t lost on her, either.

Dear Crone,

My sister refuses to have a relationship with our dad and step-mother and is weaponizing her son against them and telling him things to make him hate his grandparents.

How do I tell her that I’m sick and tired of her bullshit, it’s her fault at this point that they don’t talk to her and I don’t want to hear about it anymore?

I’m afraid to tell her what I really think because there is a significant chance she’ll cut me off, too.

Over my sister’s drama

Dear Over,

As delicately as possible… none of this is your problem, up to and including your sister’s complaining about it.

But I’ll ask you, what’s worse, tolerating the complaints or being cut off?

You can abrasively tell her you’re sick of her shit and face the consequences, or gently point out the part she may have to play.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s highly possible that she cuts you off regardless of how you approach this, but maintaining control over yourself leaves little room for regret.

Do it gently. Deal with the aftermath.

Honestly,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

I have never dated and now all my friends are in relationships and I am feeling left out of the experience, but I am very shy and small talk is very scary.

Also worried having 0 experience at 25 might be a red flag for someone.

How do I start dating without making a fool of myself?

shy bi femme

Dear SBF,

I think getting used to small talk is a great place to start.

I want you to recognize that even if something is awkward or you make things uncomfortable, that isn’t a crime; it’s a learning experience. Nobody is grading you; you just have to want to get better.

In that vein, I’m going to ask you: you make a fool of yourself… okay, and?

I want you to recognize that the thing you fear the most is being embarrassed, and I’m happy to tell you, that isn’t fatal!

Daniel once tripped over a woman’s oxygen tank while working at Starbucks. And sure, while it haunts his twilit hours, the rest of us can laugh at the story!

Your life’s purpose isn’t to avoid embarrassment; it’s to learn what something is worth to you. Dating is a microcosm of that.

Get comfortable with chatting, and have an outfit prepped that makes you feel good when you get asked out.

Enthusiastically,

The Crone

Greetings, both,

I had a "wwtcd?" And tried to sign up to therapy.

I thought had normal first world problems, like scrolling addictions, weird with food, traumatising childhood etc. I was expecting "there there poor baby see you next week" but uhm... I've been rejected?

Did I say the wrong thing? I'm "too complex for trainees" (specific service - cheaper), so like... what the fuck? Help?

Did i come off to strong?

Is my brain worth an extra £50+ per week? (No?)

Is better help real therapy or not?

It’s Not THAT bad

Dear It’s Not,

I’m loath to comment on another company, mainly because they haven’t paid me, but off the record and through the grapevine, Better Help hasn’t received reviews that would encourage me to entrust my vessel to them.

I would recommend looking for services directly through psychology clinics in your area—that’s how Daniel found his therapist.

Obviously, stay within a budget that works for you, but most places will be mindful of clients' income and can offer more direct options… without an upgrade fee.

Honestly,

The Crone

Hello, wise and illustrious Crone,

Your response was the kick I needed to actually start going to ✨️therapy✨️.

After nearly a year, I'm happy to report that I'm significantly more at peace with my very happy relationship, working through the religious trauma, and actually have and am enforcing boundaries with how I let my family make me feel.

Gratefully,

Ring-less Wraith (see March, 2025)

Dear Wraith,

It’s never too late for an update, and we’re touched that you kept us in mind over a year later.

I’m so glad to hear that therapy has been a positive venture for you, and that things are going well in your relationship.

That’s all we wanted for you.

Well, that, and for you to have a drink in hand whenever you hear from a relative. But we’ll leave that sort of problem-solving to you and your preferred mixers.

Happily,

The Crone