Dear Crone,

Hi, so I have this friend M, we spent a good year~ talking back and forth daily.

GM and GN messages.

21 questions.

The whole thing.

Well my friend clocked that I was falling for him and pushed things along which lead to a quick 3wk relationship that ended with him essentially saying “I don’t have the attention to give that you deserve.”

It broke my heart and I took it badly.

He still wants to remain friends and we talk everyday day but there is a wall…

Am I selfish for wanting to wait for him?

Too Patient

Dear Too Patient,

You’re not selfish, but you are a bit delusional, dearie.

He’s just not that into you.

If their excuse is some iteration of “I can’t live up to your expectations,” it’s because they have no interest in trying.

You’re going to be waiting forever, and he’s already stopped thinking about it.

I promise you.

Let it go.

Honestly,

The Crone

Did you perhaps spend 2.5 hours crying over a rock recently?

If not, you probably haven’t seen Project Hail Mary in theaters just yet, but that’s okay!

Join The Library Discord as we begin our next book club read, featuring Dr. Ryland Grace.

Extraterrestrial life exists, and it’s killing us. The sun is dimming, devoured by light-eating cells known as astrophages.

Humanity sends its last hope to the stars, hunting for a solution to their slowly freezing world… or at least, that’s probably the case, as Dr. Grace has woken up from an induced coma on the Hail Mary with no recollection of how he had gotten on board.

Every child secretly yearns for their father’s favor… especially when the bastard has the audacity to die before giving it.

Now, the three heirs to Wrenfare Magitech, biotech founder Meredith, congressman Arthur, and retired ballerina Eilidh each view the throne left by their father as the solution to their issues.

Whether it’s fraud, a crumbling marriage, or simply proof of favoritism, the siblings are forced to face their longstanding rivalries.

Because dad didn’t just leave behind his company, he left behind his approval.

Dropping April 7th… and you thought your gifted kid burnout was bad?

Based on the Greek tragedy by Euripides, we journey once more with Jason and the Argonauts.

But like most of you, I’m much more interested in the witch and granddaughter of Helios who saves them.

Join us for this retelling of Medea, as she turns her back on her father, her brother, and her household for the love she finds in Hera’s chosen.

The question remains: is this one-shoed dumbass going to fuck it up a second time?

Let’s find out!

Dear Crone,

I ended a long-term BDSM dynamic because a hard limit (no trance/hypnosis) was repeatedly pushed as “just a little,” even after I said no.

He says I could always safeword, and I'm aware that I’m responsible for speaking up, but I found this difficult.

I felt pressured, confused, and increasingly trapped.

Now I’m second-guessing myself.

Was this purely incompatibility, or did I fail to assert myself properly?

I'm happy to share (with changed names) the transcripts of the chat I managed to export.

Anonymous

Dear Anon,

For the sake of your anonymity, let's hold off on sharing any transcripts.

But I truly don’t think you have done anything wrong here.

You didn’t fail to assert yourself; you correctly and clearly enforced your boundaries, as you were supposed to.

His refusing to respect that wasn’t a compatibility issue; it was him being an asshole.

Stick to your guns… or whips, chains, leathers, flagellums, etc., and save ‘em for someone who respects what you offer and what you accept.

Directly,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

I went on exchange, and i feel more at home with my host family.

I came to visit them again, and everytime i think about leaving i cry.

Its not that i hate my family, i just love my new family!

They ask good quesions, we have great talks and hikes and play games and read together.

What can i do?

Poseidon_Athena

Dear P_A,

You keep in touch!

What you’re experiencing is very normal, considering you haven’t been with them long enough to get annoyed, outraged, irritated, inconvenienced, or otherwise deeply emotionally intimate with them.

Stay in contact, enjoy the honeymoon phase, and know there’s nothing to feel guilty over.

Tell them how much you appreciate them, and coordinate when you’ll be able to see them next.

Happily,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

Not an advice ask, just telling you that I thoroughly enjoy getting high (you said you make the community guidelines) and reading your stories and columns.

The descriptions paint such a beautiful picture.

Thank you so much!

Chronically Amused

Dear Chronically Amused,

What a lovely thing to say!

I’m glad my adventures bring you as much joy reading them as surviving them brought me.

We’ll be passing this one along to Daniel’s father as well, as proof of our outreach and success.

Love,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

I'm kind of scared that after taking almost a year off from everything, I won't know how to jump back into working/having real responsibilities/errands to do.

How do I get motivated or at least feel less lazy?

Sült Malacka

Dear Malacka,

Don’t underestimate the power of momentum.

I’d argue you gotta start it unmotivated.

In other words: do it anyway.

Write out everything you have to accomplish, and pick the easiest thing on the list to handle, even if it kills someone¹.

Once you get started, you’ll start charging down that hill, I promise you.

Encouragingly,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

Hi, so this is a lot to sum up.

I’ve been with this guy for 7 years, and we have grown apart since I entered grad school.

I care too much about his feelings to end it.

The relationship isn’t bad but it isn’t amazing either.

Any words of wisdom for this freshly 30-year-old who cannot seem to put herself first?

Hopeless

Dear Hopeless,

Dearie, there’s only so much I can do if you already know the answer.

No ring, no passion, and seemingly no interest in the relationship beyond thinking you’re sparing the boy by keeping him.

Great recipe for resentment, a shut-up ring, and a divorce… or say your piece and dip.

I assure you, he’ll recover far better from this than when you angrily toss your ring back to him and admit you haven’t been in love with him for years.

Hop to it.

Honestly,

The Crone